When life throws you curveballs, how do you catch them—or better yet, throw them right back? Today's guest, Twyla M. Marks, gives us a masterclass in resilience and forgiveness that's as powerful as it is poignant. Her journey from a childhood steeped in abandonment to overcoming the shackles of an abusive marriage is nothing short of heroic. Twyla's candid sharing of her early life experiences, including teenage rebellion and a pregnancy that would change her life's trajectory, offers an intimate glimpse into the struggles that have shaped her indomitable spirit.
Twyla's story doesn't stop at personal hardship; it's also about navigating the treacherous waters of post-separation abuse and how she fought to maintain a sense of normalcy for her children amid stalking and intimidation. Blended family dynamics, a concept many can relate to, is another layer of Twyla's life that she fearlessly delves into. Her resolve to ensure the safety and stability of her family in the face of daunting legal battles is both a testament to her character and a beacon of hope for listeners facing similar trials.
In a powerful discourse on the necessity of forgiveness, Twyla sheds light on the profound shifts that can occur within a family when reconciliation and cooperation replace bitterness and conflict. She also emphasizes how crucial maintaining a strong parent-child bond is during tumultuous times. Her advocacy serves as a reminder that while the journey to healing is arduous, the support and resources to navigate this path are accessible, and solidarity in the fight against domestic abuse is paramount. Join us as we share Twyla M. Marks' remarkable story of survival, forgiveness, and unyielding love for her family.
When life throws you curveballs, how do you catch them—or better yet, throw them right back? Today's guest, Twyla M. Marks, gives us a masterclass in resilience and forgiveness that's as powerful as it is poignant. Her journey from a childhood steeped in abandonment to overcoming the shackles of an abusive marriage is nothing short of heroic. Twyla's candid sharing of her early life experiences, including teenage rebellion and a pregnancy that would change her life's trajectory, offers an intimate glimpse into the struggles that have shaped her indomitable spirit.
Twyla's story doesn't stop at personal hardship; it's also about navigating the treacherous waters of post-separation abuse and how she fought to maintain a sense of normalcy for her children amid stalking and intimidation. Blended family dynamics, a concept many can relate to, is another layer of Twyla's life that she fearlessly delves into. Her resolve to ensure the safety and stability of her family in the face of daunting legal battles is both a testament to her character and a beacon of hope for listeners facing similar trials.
In a powerful discourse on the necessity of forgiveness, Twyla sheds light on the profound shifts that can occur within a family when reconciliation and cooperation replace bitterness and conflict. She also emphasizes how crucial maintaining a strong parent-child bond is during tumultuous times. Her advocacy serves as a reminder that while the journey to healing is arduous, the support and resources to navigate this path are accessible, and solidarity in the fight against domestic abuse is paramount. Join us as we share Twyla M. Marks' remarkable story of survival, forgiveness, and unyielding love for her family.
Twyla M Marks is a Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award recipient, an author, speaker, life coach and a survivor. She joins the show to discuss her experience with post-separation abuse. I'm Maria McMullen and this is Genesis, the podcast. Twyla, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I'm so glad to be here. Maria, thanks for the invitation.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you're here as well, and I was reading your book the Unexpected the Ride of my Life, and in that book we learn a lot about not just your marriage and the abuse that followed, but the events leading up to it, including some really formative experiences in your childhood. And I need to jump right into all of this because there's so much to cover in your personal story and then get to the post-separation abuse conversation as well, that we're just going to go. Here we go so before the age of 21, which was a year for you that was also pivotal. It had its own very unexpected moments and hopefully we'll talk about that. But there were so many twists and turns for you leading up to that and I'd love for you to talk about your childhood and how that shaped you as an adult.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. I was one or I was the oldest grandchild when we start there and the only grandchild that my grandmother raised and started off, with my mom being a young teenage mom. She was actually still in high school and mom had me. Mom got fell in love with another guy outside of my father and moved away, and the agreement was that my grandmother would keep me until my mom got settled. So that didn't happen. The agreement fell apart. I ended up living with my grandmother until I was nine years old and then my mom decided no, I'm tired of this, I want to go get my child. And I used the term Maria. I was legally kidnapped, because that's what it felt like. My mom came down to my grandmother's house and literally just took me out of the house. Yeah, I knew my mom because I'd see her every now and then, but that's not who I even called mom. I called my grandmother my mother.
Speaker 2:So that was one of the first pivotal points in my life where I felt I experienced my abandonment issues, meaning she took me from that house and then now, all of a sudden, I've been abandoned from the woman, my grandmother, whom I called mom and loved dearly as my mother for three years, and three years of my life was rough stated with my mom. Finally, the agreement no, my stepfather. He said you've got to let her go back to her mom. He even addressed my grandmother's mom You've got to let her go back, I lost hair.
Speaker 2:I went through a severe depression. You're talking 9, 10, 11, 12 years old, right, a young child, young kid. And then when I got back to my grandmother's house, things changed. The relationship between my mom, my biological mother, and I was definitely severed, had to go through counseling because I used the word hate. I hated her for doing that. She took me from a woman that I loved dearly and my life changed drastically. And so after the age 12, 13, the teenage years, things were great with me and my grandmother. She got custody legal custody of me at the time, because at the time when my mom came in there that wasn't established, didn't think she would need it. So there was some rocky moments. I'll call them the negative G experiences, because in my book I compare my life to a roller coaster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's keep going through to get us up to age 21, because there's more.
Speaker 2:Yes, there's so much more, there's so much more. So, yeah, so teenage years, I kind of did some things that some teenagers do and I got involved with a guy in high school and that turned out to be such not a good thing and it's public out there. I actually aborted teenage pregnancy. It's in my book. I talk about that. I don't condone that at all, but do I look back at it on my life now and say, hey, maybe I shouldn't have done that? I was 15, right 16, somewhere in there, and I wasn't ready to raise a child. I was still a child myself, and so I became rebellious against my grandmother and she and I our relationship.
Speaker 2:No, it wasn't severed, but it became a little rocky because I was doing some rebellious things.
Speaker 2:And so then, here I am, at 21 years old. Another twist happened in my life and I feel like, because I went through life without a father figure in my life, it was just like I mentioned, my grandmother and I and when I received a notice from a friend of mine she's got to come over here and read this my biological father, whom I had never laid eyes on other than a picture, had put an ad in a newspaper where my mother happened to live at that time looking for me A missing person's ad. And the friend saw this, and when I went over to our house I literally lost it, maria. I thought, oh my gosh, what? Oh my gosh, he just I have the ad to this day.
Speaker 2:I kind of saved it, but it was it read something like this, looking for Twilight Michelle Marx, if you know where she is, call collect back in those days and this any list of the two numbers call them. And we talked on the phone for about three hours first time. Then, about three weeks later, after that initial conversation, I was standing in the presence of my biological father, my two sisters and their mom Wow, and at the same time I was three minutes pregnant with my daughter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that's incredible. You had such an eventful 21 years, so the first two decades of your life were really filled with a lot of twists and turns, and I wanted you to share that with us, because when we get into the conversation of how you married and then the kind of the evolution of that relationship and how it's spiraled or corkscrewed, if you want to go with the roller coaster analogy, I think all of this plays a part. Right, all of these experiences that you had, you can call them what you want, but many of them did cause trauma, right.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. The very first one being legally kidnapped taken away in my mind she was almost like a stranger to me.
Speaker 1:And just to clarify for listeners, because they may not have read the book, and it is in there that the arrangement between your grandmother and your mother was kind of a verbal agreement. It wasn't a legal arrangement.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Correct. And my grandmother in her mind she was doing my mom a favor by saying hey, you know, like Twila, stay here, you go get settled, and when you get settled you come back and get her. Well, that turned out to be some years later. It took her that long to get settled, but by that time I had already developed a bond with my grandmother that was almost unbreakable.
Speaker 1:And yeah, yeah, so there's no, but there's no legal arrangement in place there was no legal arrangement, so technically, you belong with your mother, technically, legally at that time, but emotionally that's really not what it was and what it felt like. Okay, so we've gotten through kind of two pregnancies and you had a daughter in the meantime. Right, you gave birth to a daughter.
Speaker 2:I gave birth to my daughter. I was 21 years old, got pregnant with her at 20. Oh yeah, I had her the latter part of March, and so my birthday is in February. So yeah, I was pregnant on my 21st birthday, which that was another twist. I didn't get to experience what it feels like to celebrate your 21st birthday because I was eight and a half months pregnant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, better to hold off if you are eight and a half months pregnant to celebrate something like that. Okay, so here we are, you have a child and you ended up getting married. So tell us just briefly how you met your you're now ex-husband and get us to the you know, kind of to the point where we can talk about that relationship.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. At 24 years old, I started really thinking what am I going to do with my life, right? What do I want to do and what do I like doing? So I moved to Dallas Well, I actually interviewed with a health insurance company here in the Dallas area, got the job moved here. My daughter was four years old and while we're getting moved in and situated, my sister she said oh, I've got somebody. I want you to meet A good guy, but, girl, I'm just getting settled, I don't need a guy in my life right now.
Speaker 2:So my ex-husband or I guess will soon to be boyfriend at that time his son was a student at my sister's daycare and that is how he and I met through my sister and I know we might get into this after a while, maria, but he had a son the same age as my daughter. He and I dated very, very. We were on a fast track dating, seeing in about 10 months to the date from the time we met and to the time we got married, so less than a year. I was a married woman to a man that I really didn't know, and so the journey started and so we're married and we're finding out things. I'm finding out things about him. He's finding out things about me. So we're learning each other, we're married and also this pregnancy thing just keeps coming into my life. And I was three months pregnant standing at the altar with him.
Speaker 1:Wow. So 10 months into a relationship, you are about to get married and you're expecting a child together. I remember reading in the book a phrase that you wrote something to the effect of I'm standing at the altar about to marry somebody that nobody likes.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, nobody likes.
Speaker 1:And because there were some real blow-ups prior to the wedding and the atmosphere in the at the wedding was just not very joyful. What happened?
Speaker 2:No, not at all. So before the wedding, probably about a month prior and I'm trying to really think here about a month prior, very recently, before we got married, his sister and I had a big blow-up and he was really close with his sister just them two and we almost called off the wedding. It was that bad and so that we have not had gotten through that whole drama with the family and the sister before the wedding and the tension you could have cut it like a knife. You know they were on their side. Even in the reception I remember that nobody was really wanting to interact with each other. The family member and some of my family members knew about it because I shared what had happened. I don't know if that was good or bad, but even before that a lot of my family members did not like him. They didn't like his demeanor just at all.
Speaker 2:So they really did not agree with the marriage at all. The only reason they came is because of me. Obviously, Some of them didn't even want to go on a wedding, but all the red flags were there, Maria, what am I trying to say here? And it became worse and worse and worse as we navigated through a marriage that really did not have a great foundation to start off with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we can talk about some of the things that happened during the marriage, because it was very challenging, as you said from the start, but things worsened considerably after the divorce. So how long were you married to him?
Speaker 2:We were married 10 years.
Speaker 1:Okay, so 10 years, and then the divorce and the post-separation abuse that ensued for several years after. Let's pick it up there and talk about the divorce process and what happened following that.
Speaker 2:So the divorce itself wasn't bad. The process that the judge signed off on the divorce decree that was over and done within about three months, 90 days, right. But then post-divorce, I literally thought I was going to lose my life. To be honest with you, he started let me see where am I gonna start with this. It's so much. First off, he started stalking us you and the children, me and the kids, yes, and of course, the dynamic here. My daughter was from a previous relationship. Then we had a son together and of course he had a son from a previous relationship, so we had the blended family. So he started stalking us. I had custody of our son together and every other week it seemed like I had a flat tire with my car sitting in front of my house or in the carport or garage. Didn't quite understand how you get so many flat tires that frequently.
Speaker 1:I mean I'm like not driving through construction zone Right at home, when you're probably asleep.
Speaker 2:So I really believe, even to this day. It's been 16 years since we've been divorced now, but going back to that, that was strange. Then he would show up at my son's football practices. At the time my son was in Pete Lee football, he hadn't quite reached junior high yet and he would cause a scene I recall so vividly and I wrote about this as well. One practice he was there and I don't know if he just wanted to take Kyle. I don't know what his intentions were, but he literally pushed me. I fell down. Everyone saw this, coaches, everybody.
Speaker 2:I've had to write a police report on that and things got worse. He said, oh my gosh, how can it get even worse? He said, oh my gosh, how can it get even worse? Then we went to court. My attorney filed a protective order against him and then that's when he ramped it up even more. We would show up to the neutral location for the drop-off site and the pick-up site because every other weekend, the visitation, he would get Kyle and he would just call the police, even if I stated I was going to be one or two minutes late At this point we're not talking.
Speaker 2:It was strictly text message or email some form of documentation. I would say, hey, I'm running behind, traffic's bad. I'm all the way in North Dallas. I'm all the way in Friday in Dallas, traffic's bad. Yeah, he would call the police to have a police report written that I'm invading into his visitation or something crazy. I mean he did that a lot several times Once he felt in his mind he had enough documentation. Then he would go to court and file that against me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, unfortunately, that's a story we hear a lot where abusers will weaponize the court system in order to continue to abuse the intended target, which, in this case, was you. Yes, and using the children as part of that process.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely. And then outside of that court, in the football scene. This was the scariest moment of my life when he showed up at my church. And, of course, I'm a Christian woman, I'm in a faith, I grew up in the church and so the church was, pretty much during our marriage, all I knew and that's what I held on to my faith. But let me explain what happened here. Anybody that will show up at the church looking to harm their ex which me and the kids were supposed to be there that night and I wasn't I basically told the kids look, we're not going to church, I believe he's going to show up. He's been showing up at places, football practices, stalking me I'm having to get the police involved, all these things right. And so he had everybody in the church terrified. He had like this look, this glazed over eyes, like he was going to do whatever to get us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me make sure I understand this. He went to the church on an evening when he believed you all would be there, but you did not go that night, and so he was upset with the people at the church.
Speaker 2:Yes, he was upset for a couple of reasons, but we weren't there because it was like clockwork. We'd be there almost at night Bible study, yeah, and some of the people that he knew, or friends of mine. He asked, hey, I'm just seeing Pila. And they said, no, we haven't seen her. He actually thought they were lying like protecting me as well, and that's when my phone started blowing up. Chids and I were at home, doors locked, and they're like your ex is here and he got everybody scared. Security had to get involved. They actually ended up banning him from the church. He didn't do anything as in shoot a gun or anything like that, but it was just his character, his demeanor and everything. And after that, because I was really good friends with my pastor and the pastor's wife, they allowed their security to walk my kids and I to the car pretty much every time we were at church, because they knew what was going on. Even outside of the church incident. I kept them informed because I was scared. I really was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds really terrifying for anybody, but specifically in this situation, given the history of years of everything that you've been through with this individual, that can really be scary. So we've talked about some of the tragedies and some of the difficult moments and challenges that you've had over the past 20, 30 years, but there have been a lot of good things that have happened too. Of course, there's children that came out of these relationships and you found your dad, and you also wrote about a life experience where you said you birthed a true passion to help others navigate through the blended family dynamic and heal completely after divorce, which is amazing considering all that you've been through. And today you are what you call an encouragement expert. What does that mean to you and who do you support with your work?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I want to start with this. The definition of encouragement it's the action of giving someone support, confidence and hope. And, maria, through my life I didn't have confidence, sometimes I didn't even have support, and so, due to my lack of encouragement and things that I went through in my life, I am just passionate about helping men and women. It's not just women, right, because men go through it as well and I love to let people know and to show people that there's a better way.
Speaker 2:And this is not the end. Regardless of what you've gone through, what you may be going through, it will get better. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it At the time. You feel like you just want to throw in the towel, like so many times I wanted to, but I couldn't do it for several reasons, and there are many nights I had to cry myself to sleep, Maria, and like Lord, when is this going to end? When is this over? So what does that mean? I help people and I encourage people men, women and I'm always dropping positive words of affirmation into someone's life and to let them know that they too will make it on the other side, because it's so much greater on the other side.
Speaker 1:So give us an example of how you can do that work, of how you do that work to encourage someone.
Speaker 2:So, yes, so my niche is divorce recovery. A lot of times people come to me and say, hey, I have no idea what I'm going to do, and we just first off I ask them where are you? Where are you in life, where are you in the depth of the recovery process after going through a divorce? And sometimes they have no idea that they're just in shambles because your entire life changes after you go through a divorce. And so not even talking about if you have children, that's a whole other story.
Speaker 2:But your financial fit, you may not have worked, being married, and now all of a sudden there's a one household income. Does that mean you have to get out and work a job? Your friends, sometimes your friends, friends, mutual friends they change. And so I just ask them where are you in the process? Right, and then we start a plan get in counseling, not only our therapy, not only a life coach like myself, but therapy, because mentally, emotionally you know my story I was broken in every area, every area of my life, and that's what I do. I have to get in some counseling and some therapy after I went through that crazy post-devoid situation.
Speaker 1:There's also a moment in your book when you talk about the power of forgiveness, and I would think that forgiveness would play a role in the work that you do as well. So how did you reach this realization and how did it empower you moving forward?
Speaker 2:So, yes, the forgiveness. My situation was kind of unique. After three years post-divorce abuse, I received a phone call by the very man that was abusing me emotionally and mentally and he just literally said Twila, I'm tired of fighting, I just want to move on and let's be parents to our son the way we need to parent him or co-parent him. And I literally looked at the phone and thought oh my gosh, this is not happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's astounding.
Speaker 2:Like, this man just asked me to forgive him and I don't know how many times we'd went to court and all these crazy things that he had done to me myself and the kids, and yeah, and so I was speechless, I was numb, I you know, I just didn't know really how to respond. And people may be listening saying why did.
Speaker 4:How did you?
Speaker 2:not know how to respond. That's something that you should be happy about. Yes, I was happy about it, but it was it caught me so much off guard because of the situation that we had, situations that had occurred.
Speaker 1:It caught me off guard when I, when I read Exactly.
Speaker 2:And so I said, yeah, let's do it. Oh my gosh, and I I recall tears just literally started streaming down my face, Tears of joy. So because at that point, Maria, I knew that life was going to be better for me and the kids. That's all I wanted. I just wanted the man to leave us alone where it's over, and I just wanted to be happy with me and my kids. And yeah, but here's the thing he had at this time he had married he had remarried, so he'd read married, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes At that point. So I was excited. So that was the no, probably the second time I had to forgive. The first time I already talked about it was with my mom, and so the word forgiveness is a very powerful word in my life and I truly believe in it, because it's not an easy thing to do at all, but it's necessary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. And you also make mention of another really important concept when we talk about abusive relationships and healing from them, and that's parent-child attachment. And that's a theme that actually runs throughout your book, because when you gave birth to your daughter, your first child, you made a commitment to yourself and to her to always stay together, no matter what, and that commitment really speaks to the heart of developing a strong parent-child attachment, which becomes critical when domestic abuse and post-separation abuse are in play. So how did taking that step shape you as a mother and help build strong bonds with all of your children?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Again, I felt abandoned as a child and I told myself and God I said if I ever and when I become a parent, I'll never put them on anyone, regardless of the situation. I mean, unless I'm a pacifist or something right, but as long as I'm physically able to take care of my kids.
Speaker 2:They'll never go anywhere. Now, it was possible and I thought about it, but you know what? Because when I got divorced you know this, Maria I was not even employed, so I could have sent my kid to be with my grandmother or another family member while I get myself together, but I didn't. We were at a friend's house, sleeping on the bedroom floor, all three of us, on an air mattress, where I had been unemployed, didn't know where. I was what I was going to do.
Speaker 2:And so because of my childhood it shaped me as a parent and that's what I always vowed to do, no matter what. I'm not putting my kids off on anyone and I think today, as a result of that, my kids are grown. My daughter will be 30 in March, my son will be 25 in May. I feel like that developed a very strong relationship between my kids and I, because they know that things were not always great in our lives and they respect me a great deal. Of not putting them off on someone else, yeah, because you know.
Speaker 1:I think another thing I noticed and this is just my observation from what you wrote and things you've told me is that you were constant for them, and you likely still are. No matter how tough it got, you were there and that means a lot to a child, as you know, as we all know, and so I think that by building that attachment, you may have saved your own life, I mean, you may have saved their lives, should the abuse have gotten worse during the marriage or post separation. But I just you know, I wanted to bring that up because attachment is the bond that's going to make us all resilient, right, and there was a moment in the book when you talk about when you nearly lost custody of your son after the divorce, and it was heart-wrenching to read about that. What happened and how were you able to turn this around and regain custody?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, so that was one time where we went to court. All those other times my ex took me to court because I've been dating his visitation, or whatever he thought, and this particular judge, I don't know. I mentioned it. It's kind of funny, but I'll say it again, I don't know. She just didn't have a good bowl of Wheaties that morning or what happened. She ruled something so off base. Even my attorney was there, like what is going on? Yes, so she told me that I had to be back at the courthouse with my son at a specific time to give him to my ex-husband, and when I tell you that about took me out, because the bond that my kids and I had, especially during that time in seasoning our lives, I just could not believe it. I had to obey or I was going to go to jail, right, and so did it. I lost him for about three weeks and cost me more money. Then I went and hired another attorney to get him back because I just couldn't have the life without my son. No, I did nothing wrong.
Speaker 2:He painted a picture like I was this unfit mom, and I guess she believed him. I don't know why, but anyway. And so he was gone those three weeks. That I mean I stopped eating and I just couldn't even almost live life in those three weeks.
Speaker 2:So did you have no visitation during that time I saw him once, one time and okay, so it was that day I had to drop Kyle off and then I met them the first day because they had to go to a different school and everything. My ex-husband didn't live in the same school district at the time he moved. My kids were in a different school district and so I met them at the school for registration and I just sat there and cried in the office and Kyle he said why am I going here? He's sixth grade now. Oh, he's fifth grade, so why am I going here? Where are all my friends? So he was hurt and his dad really didn't care. His focus was to hurt me by all means necessary.
Speaker 2:He didn't care. So, yeah, he didn't care. He just his focus was to hurt me. And it was in that moment and Maria, after that incident, because he knew that he had hurt me and had hurt me significantly. Next when, not immediately after that, but after that episode, that's when I received the phone calls or forgiveness, because I truly believe he felt like he had his mission was accomplished per se.
Speaker 2:I got her now right, this is, this is about to take her out of here emotionally, and it did, and my daughter and I, we sat around and cried. It was just the worst three weeks of my life, one of the worst.
Speaker 1:But you hired a different attorney and you got him back. What? How did you do that? I got him.
Speaker 2:Yes. So I don't know what paperwork she filed or what have you, but there was some legal paperwork she filed and that day when we went to court it was probably a week after when we went to court she did what she needed to do and Kyle was back. His dad was not happy and then he stopped visiting for a while. I said, oh, it's his weekend. We didn't hear from him. And then all of a sudden he'd pop back up and say, oh, I want to get Kyle this weekend.
Speaker 2:And I wasn't nervous that he would try to run off with him because the paperwork was my attorney covered all that and protected us from doing any of that. Like he couldn't leave the state, couldn't do all these things Right, and so, yeah, that was a tough moment for everybody. And then when Kyle came back, he was happy, he was excited, and he just said, oh, I don't want to do that again. And I was like you won't send, you will never do that again. And here you are and he's that that drove drove a wedge in between his relationship with his dad for quite a while Not at that moment, maria, but when he became older and he started realizing things that his dad purposely did to him, to me he really it was not a good thing, and so they're there in good terms now.
Speaker 2:I mean, he's an adult. Of course he's mature enough to understand what actually happened, but parents a lot of times don't realize it. Using the kids as time to get back at your ex, it's not a good thing. It really is a boomerang effect because that child could possibly turn around and it could sever the relationship between you and your child.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, most abusive partners don't care about that. That's never been their objective to have that relationship in the first place. Another really important part of your life was church, as you mentioned, and you wrote extensively about your work with the church throughout your marriage, the counseling you and your husband or ex-husband received from pastors, and how going to church was both inspiring and challenging in your relationship. Give us an idea of how religion played a role in your journey through this abusive relationship and beyond.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, how did it not been for my prayer life and just asking God to just keep me and the kids safe and protect us, and the foundation that I was raised in the church and the relationship that I have with God, I don't think we would have made it through. And then the people that I had surrounding me right, really good people. I had a very strong circle at post-divorce because the people that I shared the details with they're Christians and they knew and they understood a lot of what I was going through. Some of them had experienced post-divorce drama or trauma and it played a big factor in my life, even though I had to stop going for a little time. And then, when I did start going again, I still was a little nervous, thinking he would show up. But had it not been for the counseling, I would not have made it through that whole traumatic experience.
Speaker 1:And yet you have and you are transformed. In fact, you even write that you are transformed back to Twyla. So tell us about you now and how you were able to build a life that it looks like the life of your dreams.
Speaker 2:Well, I can tell you one thing I'm free.
Speaker 2:I don't have drama in my life and the book cover kind of explains it and how I truly feel to this day. At the end of the roller coaster, the woman depicts me standing with her arms stretched wide like I'm free, I can fly like a bird. I don't have that drama in my life. And now, even going through all of those experiences that have shaped me to this day, now I'm helping others feel free or get to that point to where they feel free. And it is a journey, it's a process, doesn't happen overnight, it takes work. And recently I'll mention this here about a year ago I'm a little over here now I lost my grandmother the lady that raised me, I'm your
Speaker 2:mom. Yeah, she passed away at the September of 2022. The love of my life, as I've talked about already.
Speaker 2:I'm saying that to say going through grief. It has been a rocky road and I'm a strong believer and a strong component of therapy. I've mentioned it already several times in our conversation and I did. I had to get in some grief counseling and it's tough, but you know what? I know she is smiling down on me Even going through all that I went through and still doing the work to help others, yeah, so I love it. I have a great life and haven't found love again. But that's coming too.
Speaker 1:You also have an event coming up in April. Do you want to share that information with us?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely so. The event is titled Picking Up the Pieces Expo. It's going to be here in the Dallas Fort Worth area actually in Arlington on Saturday April 27th. It's an all day event. It's all about helping men and women recover and heal and move forward and learn how to pick up those broken, shattered pieces after going through traumatic experiences. Tickets are available right now and I'm excited we have some phenomenal major keynote speakers coming in. There will be panel discussions talking about mental health relationships, substance abuse anything post-traumatic grief recovery. So get your tickets out on Eventbrite.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's on Eventbrite Picking Up the Pieces Expo. And where can people find you on social media?
Speaker 2:So, yes, I am out on Instagram under twylammark, and the same on Facebook, twylammark and go follow me and I post some things pretty much weekly sometimes I try to do daily, all about helping you and encouraging you to keep running your race, this thing that we call life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you have a podcast right.
Speaker 2:Yes, podcast titled 12th with. Twyla. It's a live weekly show and we talk all things healing and recovering and moving forward after trauma.
Speaker 1:That's all super exciting and you know I'm really proud of you and you've done so much in the past couple of years and just kind of built the life of your dreams and you're just a testament to transformation and all that's good that awaits survivors when they've been able to just heal, as you have, and get services that help them with domestic violence, post-separation abuse and all those types of relationship abuses. So I'm glad I got to meet you and talk with you and I look forward to hearing more about your event and listening to your podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you so very much, Maria, for having me Pleasure speaking with you.
Speaker 1:Attention Spanish-speaking listeners. Listen to the end of this podcast for information on how to reach a Spanish-speaking representative of Genesis. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, you can get help or give help at genesisshelterorg or by calling or texting our 24-7 crisis hotline team at 214-946-HELP 214-946-4357. Bilingual services at Genesis include text, phone call, clinical counseling, legal services, advocacy and more. Call or text us for more information. Donations to support women and children escaping domestic violence are always needed. Learn more at genesisshelterorg slash donate.
Speaker 4:Thanks for joining us and reminding you always that ending domestic violence begins when we believe her these awards and women's препoyía, new York, aka ok, no matter what you think again is that there is the right place to start. Clear, not lay, because一些 fortes may not understand it. Many teachers and consultants forget the 腔us, including text messages, calls, advice, legal services and more. Call us or send us a text for more information. Women are always needed to support women or children escaping domestic violence. Learn more on our website at genesisshelterorg Barra inclinada. Donate. Gracias por unirse con nosotros. Recuerden que el terminar la violencia de la víctima.