Genesis The Podcast

Transforming Pain into Purpose: Using Your Story for Good

• Genesis Women's Shelter & Support

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What happens when childhood trauma meets unwavering resilience? Katherine (Kat) Omo-Osagie's story answers this question with extraordinary power and grace.

At just six years old, Kat witnessed unimaginable violence when her father shot her mother multiple times before taking his own life. Today, she stands tall as Miss Lewisville, a contestant in the 2025 Miss Texas pageant, a college scholar on a presidential scholarship, and a passionate mentor to young children finding their own paths.

Kat takes us through her remarkable journey of healing - from the frightened child who lost her confidence in elementary school, to the middle schooler who was bullied when classmates discovered her family's experience through online searches, to the high achiever who still struggled with feeling "good enough" despite external success. With remarkable self-awareness, she articulates how trauma manifests differently throughout various life stages, creating new challenges even as she builds strength.

The turning point came through pageantry, something Kat never imagined herself doing. Winning Miss Texas Teen in 2021 with her platform "Break the Cycle of Abuse" transformed the very story she once hid from into her greatest strength. "It was a really cool full circle moment to have this story of my family that was something I used to hide from...and then suddenly bring light to it and then have all this success because of it."

Kat's philosophy, inherited from her resilient mother Stephanie Bond, that "adversity breeds success if you let it," shines through every aspect of her life. Her commitment to mentorship through Big Brothers Big Sisters reflects her desire to be for others what she needed as a child.

This conversation isn't just about surviving domestic violence—it's about transforming pain into purpose and using your story to create ripples of positive change. As Kat eloquently puts it: "I never want to waste such a horrible thing that happened. If there can be good done with it..." Her journey reminds us that our deepest wounds can become our greatest gifts to the world.

Speaker 1:

Catherine Omo-Osagi witnessed the tragedy of domestic violence as a very young child. Today, she is the reigning Miss Louisville, a contestant in the 2025 Miss Texas pageant. A competitive athlete, college student and a mentor to young children, she joins the show to discuss building resilience and supporting others to be their best. I'm Maria McMullin, and this is Genesis, the podcast. I'm Maria McMullin and this is Genesis the podcast.

Speaker 2:

Kat, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be with you. I feel like I've known you for so long just through knowing your mom, Stephanie Bond. She's the best she really is. She has talked so much to us at Genesis about you and your brothers and your entire family. Listeners don't know about stephanie or who she is. Stephanie bond is a member of our alliance auxiliary at genesis women's shelter and support. She's a donor, a volunteer. She's an incredible human being and she's also a survivor of domestic violence who shared her story with us recently on Genesis the podcast. You can go back in our podcast library and find Stephanie Bond story. But today we have the next generation and I'm really excited, Kat, for you to be here and talk about your journey. You and your mom are super close, Very yes, and talk about your journey. You and your mom are super close, Very yes, and you mentioned to me that your mom always told you that adversity breeds success. How has that played out in your life?

Speaker 3:

Well, I think when you go through such a monumental event at such a young age I was six years old when my father passed my mom didn't really have the opportunity to not be successful and not find a way to keep going.

Speaker 3:

She had four kids between the ages of 16 and six, and so there was no option of not making it work. And so I think, watching her fight through all of her different adversities of course, the bigger ones, and then the adversities on a day to day, you know, getting yourself up in the morning when you don't really want to go to work, doing all the little things to make sure that you're overcoming every little adversity it led to her success, and I think watching that growing up, that was my role model. There was no opportunity to not be successful, because she made sure that we were in place. Regardless of what we were going through, we were going to be successful, and so it always stuck with me that it doesn't matter how big or small, whatever you're going through is adversity is going to breed success, if you let it.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a wonderful philosophy and way of kind of looking at your life and the future, because we all experience some forms of adversity. No one really escapes it. In a way, it's a strange parallel, but you know it's non-discriminatory, just like domestic violence is non-discriminatory, right, and you certainly have a lot of success coming your way with all the things you're doing, and we're going to talk about that as well. Since you mentioned it, your early life was shaped somewhat by the experiences of your father's mental illness and domestic violence. Kat, what happened to your family during that time?

Speaker 3:

So it starts before I was even born and I've always liked to kind of start at the very beginning of my parents' story. Now, my parents met on the campus of the University of Illinois. My mom had just gotten there, my dad had been there for a while and he was an immigrant from Nigeria and when they first met my dad was the smartest in the room, the funniest guy. Everyone wanted to be around him, he was friends with everybody, he was known on campus and he was kind of like that guy that you kind of think of on a college campus and so my mom kind of fell for that and they started the sample together and my dad, from what I've always been told, was incredible. Like I said, he was so smart, it was so funny, he was an incredible person. By the time I had come along, like I said, my dad was on that level of almost being a genius and I think a lot of times when you come with that much, you know natural intelligence, sometimes there's that issue of mental health that's paired with that and then in his case that mental health was not cared for in the proper way. So by the time I was born that mental health had kind of taken over for him, and so I never got the opportunity to know my dad in the way that my mom always imagined her husband being a father to her future daughter.

Speaker 3:

So with that growing up, I remember a lot of fighting. I remember a lot of these different events that kind of took place that were a norm for me. You know just the different yelling, the sense of fear that kind of clouded our home. Yeah, and that was that was all I really knew. We also were a pretty successful family in our hometown. We had a lot of ownership of apartment buildings on the campus of the University of Illinois and at one point my family was the largest landlords of the University of Illinois, and so we had the houses and we had the cars and we had this grand life and we would come home every day to our grand home and no one knew that behind closed doors there were these fights that were happening, there was these yelling matches that were happening and at one point it started to get physical and it started to get a lot more violent. That was about the last six months of my father's life when it did start to get violent, and towards that time I remember just being so afraid and there was a sense of something's going to happen that you don't know what it is, but you're afraid of what it might be.

Speaker 3:

And on a random Saturday in February of 2010, my father got home, my mom got home and I was with her and we walked into the house. My dad took her and said you know, I need to talk to you. My mom thought he was going to talk to her about getting a divorce because she had been pushing for that. And they take, they go back to the back bedroom of the house and the master suite, and a couple of minutes pass and I hear this deafening shriek that I will never forget and my mom and I are very close.

Speaker 3:

So I knew something was wrong and the first thing I wanted to do was get to her, and so I ran back into the bedroom, didn't see her, turned a corner, still didn't see her, and I went to the back closet, which was a walk-in closet at the very farthest end of our house, and I found my dad, who had taken his life, and I saw my mom. I looked down at her and she said don't look, call 911. And she was face down and it looked like she was trying to crawl away. And now, looking back, what I know is my dad had shot my mom three times, almost killing her before turning the gun on himself, and that obviously shaped my entire childhood.

Speaker 3:

Now my mom, she made a full recovery, and one of the things I think is so cool about my mom is she is a go getter and she is not going to let anything stand in her way, and she wanted to make sure that she could do anything she could to set her kids up for success and be a story of success, and so she never really let this story control her. She really took power of it, and that's what inspired me to now be able to share the same story from a different perspective.

Speaker 2:

Amazing. I'm familiar with Stephanie's story and I think it's really interesting to hear you retell the story as well, because there was a lot to it. It wasn't just a moment or a one single act of violence or gun violence. It was a pattern that builds up over time. Do your brothers recall your dad being more like what your mom describes him as when they first met?

Speaker 3:

Yes, and again, my oldest brother is 10 years older than me and I've got another one who's eight years older and then three years older, and it is really interesting because all of us have such a different childhood and we all have these different memories and we all have different experiences. My oldest two brothers, of course, they really got that good side of my dad and they got all of these great opportunities and all these great memories with him and me and my brother, who is the youngest of the three. We had good memories of my dad, but not near as many as my older brothers, and so that's always created such an interesting kind of topic of conversation for us. Um, I know myself I've always reached out to my brothers and wanted to learn more about what my dad was like when he was that good person, because I think what's also so interesting about having a situation like this at such a young age is I know that at one point, my dad was this great person and it's really an interesting dynamic of something changed and I don't remember him as that great person and so, even though he was this great person, there was this horrible act that happened and there were these horrible things that took place, and it wasn't just the shooting, it was months before that.

Speaker 3:

It was the financial abuse, it was the verbal abuse, it was the not being present. For me and my siblings it was the things like that, and so that dynamic has always been something really interesting between my brothers and I.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that is very astute for you to say that the four of you all had different childhoods so interesting. Now you've told your story many, many times and I'm very honored to hear it from you and I thank you for sharing it with us. It is very inspirational to hear how you and your family moved forward. What do you hope people will take away from learning about this experience and about the impact of domestic violence?

Speaker 3:

Well, I think one of the things that's always motivated me, especially in probably the last about five years, four or five years is the fact that this is something that doesn't discriminate. You know, you can look at anybody and they might have something that they've never told anyone. So what I started to notice, particularly in high school, is the more I opened up about this story, the more I told people about what happened in my family, the more somebody felt comfortable saying, well, x, y and Z has happened in my house. Is that not normal? And so that's been really inspiring, because you don't know what you don't know. If you've been raised for 15, 16, 17 years with the same patterns and the same things, you're not going to know any different, and then that's a pattern that's going to continue on for future generations not going to know any different, and then that's a pattern that's going to continue on for future generations. And so it's been so important to me to take what's happened in my family and go out and share it, because I think there's something that's been very powerful.

Speaker 3:

One of my favorite things I've ever done was actually a Genesis event that my mom and I got to do together. She was asked to speak and she thought it would be cool if I came along and shared my perspective as well. And so we talked to about 100 women who are involved in Genesis and they would ask a question and she would give her perspective and I would give mine. And one of the most impactful things, I think, was you hear about the survivor and you hear from their perspective, but sometimes it's forgotten how the other people in the survivor's life are impacted. Now, I was not domestically abused. I did not have any of that abuse that my mom, for example, had. But there are still lasting implications of watching everything and I think when you put yourself in the perspective of a six-year-old little girl who's just coming home from school, then it really kind of adds an even deeper level of we got to do something about this and this has got to be stopped.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. That is so impactful. Just to hear you talk about it in that way it's interesting, you know, to take the backward glance and go back and look at what happened and really have more of an adult context for something that happened to you as a child. And you also mentioned how what becomes normal to you living in an abusive household or with an abusive relationship just becomes your standard. And to take it one step further, for lots of people they just believe everyone lives like that when they're children because they don't have any other point of reference for what it should be like to be in a parent-child relationship or in a family.

Speaker 2:

Dynamic home is where they find out what relationships are all about and what they're supposed to look like. And so you can go you know 10 to 15 years as a kid and believe that everybody's living this way at home and this is what's normal, that you know dad hits mom, mom and dad argue dad hits me, and until you realize that, no, this is not okay. And that's why we do this show and why we do teen dating violence education and domestic violence education for students and youth, so that they can really understand what a healthy relationship looks like and give them tools to not only learn about it but also to reach out to people if they need to discuss what's happening in their home or with an intimate partner. Now you are a college student, a pageant winner and so much more. Is there a point where you can say you've made it and you no longer feel the impact of that domestic violence? Or is this more of a journey for you?

Speaker 3:

I definitely think it's a journey and something that I've always found almost interesting. I've always taken my life and been very analytical, very analytical person, and it seems every stage of my life I unlock a new challenge. That can be traced back to my childhood and that's been very interesting, sometimes difficult but interesting to navigate. In the aspect I go back to when we first moved to Texas. So the shooting happened when I was six. We moved to Texas when I was eight. I go back there and I think about the struggles that I had when I started to lose that self confidence. You know, I was a very happy kid, I was always a go getter, I was a gymnast, I love to talk to people, I love to be around people.

Speaker 3:

About fourth or fifth grade, completely shut down. I stopped making friends. I didn't even know how to anymore. I lost all sense of confidence and so that kind of started in elementary school and then I got to middle school, and middle school it was horrible. I went to a school where it was a very some would say privileged middle school, and so I was only one of a few black kids and along with that, my mom was one of the only moms who worked in my middle school. It was a middle school with a thousand kids too. There were a ton of people there, and another thing that I began having to navigate is we had these school laptops and it became kind of you know, fun to pass the time to Google each other.

Speaker 3:

Well, when you Google Catherine Oma Asagi, for a long time the first thing that would show up was a news article about the shooting that happened, and I hadn't talked about that at my middle school. Nobody knew about that. I did not have the confidence to start talking about it at that point in my life, and when people started finding out about that, it became an easy target for them to make fun of me and really kind of attack me. And I look back and it just breaks my heart that 12, 13 year olds are attacking such a horrible thing. That happened, and so you know. Of course, that affected my confidence a lot, and so that was really one of those times where I felt super different than my peers. I did not even know how to relate to them. I really did not talk. I have friends now who I went to middle school with and they ask where I went to middle school because they don't remember me being there because I was so much of a shell of myself that I did not have the confidence to even speak to them and now they're some of my best friends that I did not have the confidence to even speak to them and now they're some of my best friends. And so I look back at middle school and that was one of those things that you can trace back to, of course, my childhood, High school. It definitely turned around a lot, but it was also still a very interesting dynamic because it was a whole new set of issues that had unlocked. Now, at this point, I'd built a lot more of my confidence. I had a great set of issues that hadn't locked. Now, at this point, I'd built a lot more of my confidence. I had a great set of friends and I'd finally started to open up about, you know, my family and what happened, and it was cool because I started seeing that I could help people with that.

Speaker 3:

But at the same time, you know you're in high school I've had all these accomplishments. I was cheer captain, I was Miss Texas T and I was top of my class in grades. I was graduating high school with an associates of science degree. But I was always chasing something. And there's a saying, you know, being good isn't ever good enough, and that's how I always felt. And it was like I can do all of these things, I can get the scholarships, I can do all the things, but for some reason I was never satisfied and I never felt like I was good enough for the people around me. And nobody made me seem like that. My family is the most supportive people in the world, they would do anything for me, yeah, but it really was kind of looking back at when I was young and you know I am not in my head I was not good enough to have all of this praise and I needed to keep searching, keep fighting to do something that's going to make it worth it. But there was nothing I could have done.

Speaker 3:

And so college, of course, you know a whole, nother set of issues.

Speaker 3:

You know, the first time I'm completely independent.

Speaker 3:

I grew up very independently, just with everything that my family had been through, but it's a whole different level of independence.

Speaker 3:

I was so homesick, oh my goodness, I was so homesick for so long, and it was a lot of that still chasing those different validation things, but at the same time, I couldn't get that validation because I wasn't home.

Speaker 3:

So my core system, what I was used to getting that validation from, I wasn't around them every day, and so I definitely fell into a really kind of dark place of trying to figure out what my path is, what my purpose is, what I'm supposed to be doing, and I was definitely at a really low, low point my freshman and sophomore year and it took me a while to get out of that. And now that I'm on the other side of it, it's really interesting to see how, you know, you hit rock bottom and you hit a low and that can almost propel you into a place of being at the best version of yourself. Yeah, so, with all of that, I think it definitely is a journey and I think when I, you know, am in a serious relationship, I'm going to have more problems. When I'm a mother one day, I'm going to have other issues, and just being aware of that is definitely something that I know I'll have to work towards, but it doesn't scare me the way that it used to Wow.

Speaker 2:

You're so enlightened and self aware and I admire that about you, especially for such a young woman who's experienced so much. And I know your family has a lot to do with your sense of self and your well-being, and you're very close, especially with your mom, stephanie Bond, and I think she might be your biggest fan. I'm pretty sure that she is the biggest fan. How have these relationships helped to heal the past and build resiliency?

Speaker 1:

in your life.

Speaker 3:

I think how close my family and I are is something I will never take for granted, and it is the coolest thing for my brothers and my mom to be supportive of everything I do and to see how they've shaped me into the person I am today. A lot of my friends at school they think my family is the funniest family in the world. We've got our family group chat and there is always something hilarious said, and so I'll take a screenshot and send it to some of my best friends and they're like you guys are unreal, like it's so fun to have those close connections, but it's cool too, especially now that I'm so grounded and I feel so much better about just my sense of self. I'm in a place where my goal is always and has always been to make my family proud and to do right by them.

Speaker 3:

I remember being four years old, five years old and my mom you know I feel like every mom says to their little girl like please never grow up.

Speaker 3:

And I would say to my mom it's okay, I'm going to grow up and I'm going to buy you a beach house, and that rule hasn't changed. I still intend on buying her a beach house, and so it is really A blessing to have people who I look up to so much, who motivate me so much. My brothers are all so different. There are three of the most different people you could ever put in a room, but of course I like to tease them a little bit, like, yeah, I have the best versions of all three, but it's really cool to be a combination of three people who are so different and I wouldn't change it for the world. They've raised me into who I am and I'm so grateful for all the things that they've done before me so that I can follow in their different footsteps, because they three took different paths. But it's, it is such a blessing to be so close to them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's outstanding. Now, another thing that's really important to you and central to your your life is your work within the pageant system. How long have you been doing that and how has it supported both your goals and your self-confidence?

Speaker 3:

Well, it was really funny. I have been involved with Miss Texas since 2021. Now for background context. I never grew up in pageants. I had always wanted to do a pageant. I remember watching Miss America with my mom and my. I remember watching Miss America with my mom, and my grandma competed in the Miss America organization when she was younger Wow, and I thought it was so incredible these beautiful women who articulate and talented and incredible and I always thought to myself I can never do that. That is not something I can do. I am not that articulate, I am not that talented, I do not have much grace and poise.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we all tell ourselves that which nothing. Looking at you I mean talking to you it could be. Nothing could be further from the truth that is so kind.

Speaker 3:

There was a show called Kim of Queens that was all about this woman who was a pageant coach and she was just the coolest. My mom and I would sit and watch this show all the time and I was probably nine or 10 years old at that point and I remember asking her if she'd ever let me do a pageant and she said well, we don't have the money for a dress right now for the registration, but when you're older, if you still want to do it, you know we'll consider. Fast forward, it's COVID. I quit gymnastics. I've been it for 12 years and that was absolutely massive because it was such a big part of my life. I quit that and I missed competing.

Speaker 3:

And there was a girl I went to high school with who always competed in Miss Texas and she said you know, kat, I know you like to compete. You should give this a try. And I looked at her like she had three heads. I was like you're crazy, I'm not going to do that. I don't know how to do my makeup. I don't own more than two pair of heels, I'm not doing that. And she was like just consider it, we'll talk about it, just consider it. So I went home and I went to my mom and I said, you know, somebody said I should think about doing a pageant and she was like, okay, you know another thing I love about my mom, she's so supportive in any of our endeavors she was like, yeah, that's fine. She's thinking you just have to buy a couple dresses and you know, register and that'll be it. Absolutely not Miss America, it is. You know, there's paperwork, there's registration, there's scholarship applications, all these different things.

Speaker 3:

And so February is when I decided to compete. I actually bought my Miss Texas teen gown the day that was the anniversary of my dad's death and of the shooting and that's usually such a hard day for my entire family and, looking back, it is kind of a beautiful thing to now have that memory attached to it. And then, a couple months later, was Miss Texas, miss Texas teen. I did not expect to win, I did not expect to make the top five. I thought I'd go in there and get a new experience and a couple friends and some scholarship dollars. And then I ended up winning this Texas Outstanding Team 2021.

Speaker 3:

And then went on to place second runner up to Miss America's team that following summer Wow, and it was life changing, completely changed the course of my life and gave me confidence that I'd never had, particularly because my platform was break the cycle of abuse.

Speaker 3:

And it was a really cool full circle moment to have this story of my family and it was something I used to hide from and I wanted no one to know and then suddenly bring light to it and then have all the success because of the story that I used to hide from. Yeah, and that was also, of course, monumental because that showed me there is a difference that can be made with it and it it speaks to people and it touches people, and so that was huge and my pageant journey now past that. I had the title for a year and it was such a blessing. I got to travel across Texas and share my family's story, talk to different people, do different options of volunteer work, and then after that I went to college. I also earned a full presidential scholarship to the University of Alabama, which I'm at now.

Speaker 2:

Congratulations. Thank you.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, thank you, never looked at Alabama, got the scholarship and then fell in love with it, and so it's been so incredible here. And then I didn't think I would ever compete in pageants again, just because I was like, you know, I did that and it was incredible, but I don't know if I'm going to come back to it. And then a couple months ago, once again in February, I kind of got the itch and I was like, wow, you know, I don't think that I really did everything that I could do with my platform and with this story, and Miss Texas is unique because it really propels you to have a platform that you wouldn't have had without. And so every time that I have the opportunity to share this story, to share my family's story, I know it's going to touch at least one person and I don't ever want to take advantage of that and I never want to waste such a horrible thing that happened. If there can be good, that's done with it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's amazing. So you are also Miss Louisville right. Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 3:

So I'm the current Miss Louisville and I'm getting ready to compete for the title of Miss Texas here at the end of June.

Speaker 2:

So excited for you. You are amazing and I wanted to ask you about some of the other types of volunteer work you do. I know that you work, or you have worked, as a mentor to young children. Tell us about what you do there.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely so. This was a big thing I did in high school. I had a good handful of people that I mentored and I was in a class where we actually got to go to these neighboring elementary and middle schools and be mentors to some of the kids who might not have the most ideal family life, and that was something that was such a passion of mine because I didn't get that when I was in elementary school and if I would have had that, I think it would have changed so much about my confidence and all of these different things. So having that in high school was huge for me. Now at school and in college, you know it can be a little bit harder to find those different opportunities, but they're there if you look. And I knew that this was such a passion of mine and I have the time. There is time for anything if you make it.

Speaker 3:

And one of my friends actually he was involved with Big Brothers, big Sisters of West Alabama and so I had reached out to him and I said how did you get involved with this? And he got me in contact with the people out here for Big Brothers, big Sisters and now I get to be a big to a sweet little third grader. She is the best, and it is so cool to see so much of myself and her and know that she's going to be on the right path and, if nothing else, she's got someone that she can look up to. You know we always talk about our curly hair and you know it's a lot of fun to have that. And she wears glasses, so I'll wear my glasses when I see her and it's really cool to see the impacts of just being present in someone's life. It's so rewarding and I would not change it for the world, and so just that mentorship aspect is probably one of, I think, the biggest gifts that you can give to another person, and it's truly one of my passions.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I can totally understand why it would be. I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud to know you, and I appreciate you sharing your story of not just being a survivor. This is more than that. This is about resilience and living the life that you want for yourself, and you are certainly doing. Let's catch up again soon after the Miss Texas competition. I definitely want to find out how that all works out. I hope you make it, I hope you win it and I wish you all the best. Thank you for being here today.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much I appreciate it.

Speaker 1:

Genesis Women's Shelter and Support exists to give women in abusive situations a way out. We are committed to our mission of providing safety, shelter and support for women and children who have experienced domestic violence and to raise awareness regarding its cause, prevalence and impact. Join us in creating a societal shift on how people think about domestic violence. You can learn more at GenesisShelterorg and when you follow us on social media on Facebook and Instagram at Genesis Women's Shelter, and on X at Genesis Shelter. The Genesis Helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by call or text at 214-946-HELP 214-946-4357.